Yesterday I had a much needed walk with a good friend and mentor. This woman has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember and she has always given me excellent guidance. There are things she told me in high school that I have continued to apply in my life and feel I am a better person for it, she is the one who taught me that leaving your comfort zone is the best way to grow, and now she is working on showing me that I am awesome (her words).
I knew she would want to talk about several different things on our walk and I knew one of them would be Pen Pal. I guess yesterday's post was really all about prepping myself for this walk. I wanted to have a better idea of what and how I was feeling before I tried to open up to her. You see, I'm not usually one to share my feelings, I hate feeling things and more so, I hate feeling things in front of people.
I love talking with Mentor because she helps me to see things rationally. You see, I like to think that maybe I help my friends to see things rationally, but I know that whether or not that is true, I do a horrible job of getting myself to be rational. She helped me work through my emotions, what exactly I was feeling and why was I feeling that. Of course, Mentor is an optimist and kept trying to get me to hold out hope, but honestly, I don't think there is any to be had. But in the end, I can just work on me, on being the type of person who isn't going to try and physically hurt Pen Pal when I see him again, on being the type of person who is going to look beyond myself when he gets back and focus on helping him feel comfortable in a basically new place.
I don't know, I don't feel like anything has changed but I am feeling better, lighter really. It's like on our walk we found what was really at the heart of the issue, what things were lying far deeper than surface feelings.
No comments:
Post a Comment