All of my life I have been oblivious to most things. I am fine with this, ignorance is bliss as they say. But I can't help but laugh at myself later when my brain pieces together what someone tried to make happen and how I refused to understand.
A couple months ago I was getting to know a guy friend better, he had very randomly hinted that he might be interested in me (by hinted I mean he wrapped his arm around my waist and affectionately rubbed my arm - uh, hello stranger). Remember, when I was 16 I told myself everyone gets a try (which, actually, I have veered away from but this guy didn't seem so bad, I just didn't really know him). In an attempt to get to know him better we hung out the night after said arm wrappage.
We had been hanging out with a group of people and then the opportunity presented itself to be able to sit together, alone. So I took it, hoping to somehow find myself tangled up in deep, philosophical conversation (no seriously, stop laughing, I actually thought this might happen). We talked for a bit, going through the perfunctory questionnaire two people typically go through on a first date, how many siblings, what is/was your major, what are your hopes, dreams, and aspirations?
During out little tête-à-tête he kept asking me if I was comfortable the way I was sitting all while shifting his own seating. I felt fine and told him so...several times. This is kind of how a bit of the conversation would go:
"No, really, this is pretty comfortable." I would say.
"Are you sure? It's not uncomfortable for your legs like that?"
Me, looking down at legs, "Well, I guess I could stretch them out a bit."
Followed by me stretching my legs out in front of me slightly, which caused me to lean back...right into his waiting arm.
...Ohhhhhhh
I get it now. Sorry for making hitting on me so very difficult. No, I did not say that. Had I been more comfortable and more sure of his (and my) feelings I would have totally said that, that's my style. As was I kind of just let him put his arm around me...and hold my hand, and maybe even kiss me a little. But that's besides the point, the point here is, I'm typically oblivious.
Last night however, was one of those moments when I pretend to be oblivious (don't act like you've never done it...and if you honestly haven't you should try it, it's amazing). I went to class last night and sat on the back row, only one row away from a guy I am trying to avoid (details will come in a different post but only by popular demand). He turns to me with his arm resting on the back of the chair next to him and in his most "oh you darling puppy or small child" tone (you know this tone right? A hint of condescension mixed with a dash of 1950 masculinity that leaves you feeling like you want to run away) says, "Oh, don't sit on the back row all by yourself." Whenever I say, "Oh," while retelling myself this story I keep hearing my high school sign language teacher who would say, "Oh you poor baby", which was really done in sign language, but I could hear her saying it the same way every time. He said this like he was trying to be flirty and trying to get me to come sit up one more row with him.
I put on my bimbo face and voice and said, "Oh, I'm a back row kind of person. (insert ditzy laugh here)". That squelched conversation.
So there you have it, a moment where I honestly don't get it, and one where I have to pretend to be how I normally am.
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